Guest Post: The Blogosphere Has Kidnapped My Girlfriend

Roughly two months ago, "the girlfriend", told me she was interested in starting a blog. She constantly is coming up with new ways to make her life more exciting so I was supportive of this endeavor. She later revealed to me her idea of a "wellness" blog and I again gave her a pat on the back. She lives a very healthy lifestyle and her "wellness" has rubbed off on me. Creating a blog was one of her New Years Resolutions. She is extremely intelligent and her writing is witty and intriguing. I knew she would be successful. Then the madness ensued. I originally thought that this would be a fad and she would stop blogging after a few weeks. Boy was I wrong...

Now let me give you a little background about our relationship. We have been dating for almost two years and we email each other daily. Sometimes we email each other over three or four times a day. Since beginning this blog, the number of emails we send each other has dwindled. When I call her on the phone at night she doesn't listen to me because she is stuck in the "blogosphere." When I go over her place to hang out, she sits on the couch typing away on her laptop as I watch TV in solitude. I need attention too! Even our nightly phone conversations revolve around her online entries. I finally came to the conclusion that my girlfriend is cheating on me with her freaking blog! What can a blog give someone that a boyfriend cant? Can a blog give you a hug? NO! A kiss? NO! Can a blog cook you dinner or drive you to the grocery store? NO! Can a blog beat you in tennis or challenge you to a wresting match? Hell NO. Gillian claims that the entry times on her blog are due to her computer being old, but dont be fooled, those are the real times. She sneaks on her blog whenever she gets a chance and now I have to compete with an online diary! 6:15 am entry? Yup 11:15 on a Saturday night? That's right! She dreams about her blog and cuddles in bed with her blog. She goes for runs with her blog and cooks for her blog. She works out for her blog and writes notes for her blog. So here we go. Im throwing off the gloves and going to bare knuckle box with this "new found love". I guess I have to be the best boyfriend possible or I might lose "the girlfriend" to a website. I have a list of things that I will never do including going to a tanning salon, getting a pedicure or manicure, and getting my "tips frosted." If Gillian decides to post this then I am openly saying I will never, ever start a blog because blogs take over and ruin lives.

- "Boyfriend"

PICTURE: Pre-Blog Bliss : )

Disclaimer: The "Boyfriend" is kidding. He digs the blog...