Monday, March 23, 2009

Guest Post: The Blogosphere Has Kidnapped My Girlfriend

Roughly two months ago, "the girlfriend", told me she was interested in starting a blog. She constantly is coming up with new ways to make her life more exciting so I was supportive of this endeavor. She later revealed to me her idea of a "wellness" blog and I again gave her a pat on the back. She lives a very healthy lifestyle and her "wellness" has rubbed off on me. Creating a blog was one of her New Years Resolutions. She is extremely intelligent and her writing is witty and intriguing. I knew she would be successful. Then the madness ensued. I originally thought that this would be a fad and she would stop blogging after a few weeks. Boy was I wrong...

Now let me give you a little background about our relationship. We have been dating for almost two years and we email each other daily. Sometimes we email each other over three or four times a day. Since beginning this blog, the number of emails we send each other has dwindled. When I call her on the phone at night she doesn't listen to me because she is stuck in the "blogosphere." When I go over her place to hang out, she sits on the couch typing away on her laptop as I watch TV in solitude. I need attention too! Even our nightly phone conversations revolve around her online entries. I finally came to the conclusion that my girlfriend is cheating on me with her freaking blog! What can a blog give someone that a boyfriend cant? Can a blog give you a hug? NO! A kiss? NO! Can a blog cook you dinner or drive you to the grocery store? NO! Can a blog beat you in tennis or challenge you to a wresting match? Hell NO. Gillian claims that the entry times on her blog are due to her computer being old, but dont be fooled, those are the real times. She sneaks on her blog whenever she gets a chance and now I have to compete with an online diary! 6:15 am entry? Yup 11:15 on a Saturday night? That's right! She dreams about her blog and cuddles in bed with her blog. She goes for runs with her blog and cooks for her blog. She works out for her blog and writes notes for her blog. So here we go. Im throwing off the gloves and going to bare knuckle box with this "new found love". I guess I have to be the best boyfriend possible or I might lose "the girlfriend" to a website. I have a list of things that I will never do including going to a tanning salon, getting a pedicure or manicure, and getting my "tips frosted." If Gillian decides to post this then I am openly saying I will never, ever start a blog because blogs take over and ruin lives.

- "Boyfriend"

PICTURE: Pre-Blog Bliss : )

Disclaimer: The "Boyfriend" is kidding. He digs the blog...

4 comments:

  1. this is AWESOME because I know my boyfriend feels the EXACT SAME!! hahahahaha... i cheat on him with the blogosphere. oh well. I can't wait to show him this when he gets back in town! maybe he will do a guest post for me and your man can read it and become each others' support groups
    !

    Blogger Boyfriends' Anonymous

    My bachelors degree is in Neuroscience. I started out as a nutrition major freshman year but then transferred colleges and had to go with Neuroscience after mistakenly taking all of the requirements and loving it. I was studying to be a brain surgeon and performed brain surgeries and taught other students how to do them ( on rats etc.) - I studied autism in college and neuronal mechanisms and nutrition related issues with brain healthy and overall health. So in college I took an experiential learning term to South Africa. I had to choose a topic about the country to study and I chose nutrient deficiencies immediately. I knew at that point I should have stuck with nutrition but I still had to finish my undergrad thesis. So out of college I taught children with autism to put my knowledge to good use. But, I couldn't avoid my passion for nutrtion- I would come home from teaching and read research articles in nutrition. So that is when I knew I had to go to grad school for it.

    okay after this novel, I bid you goodnight! :)

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  2. I laughed so hard when I read this!!! My husband says the EXACT same thing!!!! Sometimes it is so easy to get wrapped up in the computer stuff and I have actually spent more time on my computer the last couple months than I ever have.

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  3. BHealthier - That is quite a resume! Sounds like you have had some great experiences...Im looking forward to following your posts!

    Abbie - Glad you enjoyed it! I have a feeling blogging only picks up rather than slowing down....

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  4. I can relate as well! My boyfriend is very supportive of my blog because he wants me to be a successful writer more than anyone - but he thinks actually reading food blogs is silly!

    You are so cute together!

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