Saturday, March 14, 2009

Reason #17: Token Gym-Goers

I have belonged to four gyms in my life, and I have come up with a theory that all gyms have the following “token” gym-goers. No matter where you go, you shall find them:

Girl So Skinny You are Scared for her Life – When she runs you fear she will fall, when she lifts you fear she will break in half.
Gym Purse lady – Instead of locking up her personal items in the locker room like everyone else, this woman insists on bringing her oversized duffle bag filled with cellphone, towel, ipod, magazines, extra clothing, gum, and sweatshirt to her machine. It is conveniently plopped in everyone’s pathway.
Too Top Heavy Guy – This guy bench presses ridiculous weights and does dumbbell curls as he smiles at himself in the mirror. He wears wife beaters, grunts, hisses, and probably fist-pumps at the Jersey shore.
The Older Woman In A Sports Bra – There is always that older woman who sports spandex and a middrift. While she is very fit and looks great for her age, her outfit is probably more appropriate for a Jane Fonda workout video.
Determined Woman on Treadmill Who Looks Like She is Running to Save her Life – This woman runs as fast as she can, looks straight forward with a frightened look, and easily could be mistaken for Neve Campbell in Scream. Once the treadmill hits :57, :58, :59, the girls grabs the sidebars, slows down the speed, bends over to catch breath, and escapes alive.
Floater Dude – Guy who walks around but really doesn’t do anything – Guy is typically skinny, wears white tshirt, long shorts, high socks, and just wanders. He will pick up a dumbbell, lift it. He will sit on the floor, sit up. Possibly terrified of “too top heavy guy” timbering over?
Non-sprayers – The person who exercises for 90 minutes at a fast pace, sweats all over the machine, yet is too lazy to wipe the machine down.
Girl who runs forever- She is running when you get there, she is running when you leave. She is also running when you get there the next day.
Girl who is on the treadmill but doesn’t run. Girl spends at least 2 miles of her running workout with her legs strattling the sids of the treadmill instead of pausing the machine. She fixes her IPOD, drinks water, talks with her friends as the belt continues on. Cheater!
Social Butterfly – The girl can talk. She knows everyone at the frontdesk and all the personal trainers. Whether you like it or not, you know her nightly plans, her favorite tv show, and what she had for lunch.
Way too Dressed Up for the Gym Girl – We all have recognized her. She is at the gym with a full face of make-up on, hair perfectly blown dry, a perfectly matched gym outfit, and super white sneakers only to match her super white smile (Gretchen from Real Housewives anyone?). She goes onto the treadmill, glistens, and never breaks into a sweat.

Take a look around your gym - you'll recognize the tokens!

On another note:
* My boyfriend and I used coupon last night! We received a $25 gift certificate for $2 (there is a special right now, buy $25 gift certificate for $2 - use special code "MENU"). We had delicious meal!
** Off to my first co-ed soccer game of the season - hopefully start the season with a win!


  1. i just bought some of the certs but havent used them yet. what a deal.

  2. Haaa love your list! Where did you go with the certificate? Can you only use one per meal? My bf and I threaten to buy them every single week...!!

  3. That is too funny, I can picture somebody from my gym for each of those descriptions!

  4. We went to "Gaslight" restaurant in Hoboken, but I was looking at your "NYC Restuarant Review List" as Im looking for a place to go on Tuesday night and Aja, Cafe Asean, Esca, even Lucky Cheng's (such a ridiculous place!)are on Plus many more...Try it out, but remember to type in "MENU" for the discount code to get the certificate for $2 instead of $10($2 special ends today).

    I definitely want to try some of your recommendations as well - some of my favs you listed include Alta, Tartine, Crispo, Spotted Pig, Koi, and of course Nobu.

    And yes, you can only use one certificate per week (but there are a few restaurants that have $100 certificates for $40, etc.)

  5. Gillian, this list is HILARIOUS! My favorite:

    Girl who runs forever

    Oh yes I have seen her. Great list!

  6. Gillian-
    Cafe Asean!!! We go almost once a week. The food is UNREAL!!!

  7. Ooops i posted with the wrong 'name'

  8. haha i love this! just found your blog :) love it!